Simplicity

Butterflies drifting in and out of flower planted gardens

Gentle breezes tossing dandelions to a new home

Reflections of teary eyes in the mirror

Putrid scents of unwashed hair

Light dancing it’s way through curtains in the morning

Ashes scurring away from a 10 feet tall bonfire

Laundry a mountain of festering illness

Greasy face sprouting pimples

Sun sets on the water

Captivating skies dripping in diamonds

Broken glass used as a way to etch the pain away

Unhappy people smiling for the last time

Precedence Should Be a Sin

Control

After my latest scrutiny

I’ve decided I have none

My life can be summed up in many ways

Like abstract murals created from ones anger

Or Red and brown pickett fences all in a row

But my personal favorite

A months worth of dirty underwear at the bottom of my laundry basket

I guess I could be more in control

Like abstract murals created from ones happiness

Or red and brown pickett fences on opposite sides of the street

But my personal favorite

Three weeks worth of dirty underwear at the bottom of my laundry basket

Due to my underlying traumas

That’s the best it’ll ever truly get

My thirst this need for control

Will always be out of reach

Like a beached whale trying to flop back to the water

Or a man on fire attempting to think cold thoughts

But the truth

I’m simply a girl trying to deal with trauma by never speaking

By burying those thoughts under a mass of self control I swear I don’t have

I’m simply a girl who is over controlling everything in life so much so

That I am always out of control

Cancerous

A single tumor builds and expands creating magnificence etched into skin and bone

Malignent they say

For they have not yet said anything

A single cell divides and blooms into some sort of glowing jelly creatures swimming through the body

Cancer he says

For he has told me his time is coming soon

Too much-Too little

I give so much of my heart just to be met with scarlet dripping daggers

I give as much honesty as I do trust just to be caressed by poison drizzled tongues

I dont want to give anymore

I want to float away with the clouds in a peaceful surrender

I give so much of my material things just to be squandered and then abandoned

I give so much of my happiness only to be left when my misfortune turns to burden

I dont want to give anymore

I want to plant myself in an orchid field in a tranquil abdication

I give to much of my soul just to be met with obscurity

I give and give little pieces of me just to be consumed and purged

I dont want to give anymore

I want to grow as tall as the forest in indignation and radiate beyond those whove shattered me

Fickle Emotions

Emotions are fickle

So fickle that in the mornings when the clouds are looming you illuminate a path as you walk

Yet in the afternoon when the sky is smiling you create a shadow of misery as your feet drag

Emotions can be fickle

So fickle that on the days where the highs are abnormally euphoric

The lows are even more desolate and filled with a pensive sorrow

Emotions can be fickle

So fickle that it creates a lost sense of reality so devastating that you let the cold kiss of numbness spread through your veins

Continue reading “Fickle Emotions”

Rain Soaked Woe

The sun is rising as the light drizzle awakens the flowers

Nose filled with the fresh scent of dew

Feet skipping along to the pitter patter allowing the water to shower me

Ears lavished with tunes of the birds whom didn’t mind the rain

Tips of my fingers Touched droplets on metal fences producing something new

I was high on honey soaked lies a chill fog giving life to a slight wind that sweetly nipped my skin

My head high I felt untarnished with no weary load

Midway through the day the sun is boiling the rocks

My dismal tears hit the concrete and sizzle while I hold myself trembling

The heat creating piddling beads of sweat on my face while I anxiously waited

For a moment it all went blank as I stood to my feet wandering somewhere unsung

I couldn’t feel

creeping behind me was a penumbra so heart wrenching I was frozen in melancholy

It’s the end of the day Rain is pouring while the world floods

I walk to who the hell knows where loosing myself in the tear soaked earth

My body frigid I kept myself unaware I was hysterical

A different type of adrenaline running through my veins

The sky coated me in agony and resentment a mass that dragged my feet while I walked

I looked to the clouds and took a long patient breath

sending it somewhere behind the dam

I no longer remember the last time I granted myself permission to feel so feeble