Almost Explainable

I keep trying to channel some emotion to scribble onto this page

To create something beautiful

To let the ugly words and tears flood and bloom into something meaningful

But the thing about pain is you can paint a pretty picture but its still just that

Pain

I keep trying to find it in me to let some kind of lesson to wash over me

To be enlightened by the trickles of water that caress my body

To cultivate my garden and revive my sense of being

But the thing about lessons are you can saturate yourself in false beliefs yet the thing that still lingers..

Is pain

Like a rain forest filled with intertwining roots of orchids and trees

Pain is intricate

Like the susceptible buds sprouting on a pencil thin stem

Pain is delicate

Like the fragrance of this beautiful flower that only blooms when it pleases

Pain is unforgivingly intoxicating

I keep trying to write about the way I used to make myself bleed when I didn’t feel whole

To compose something dark something that really shows my agony

To let every unsaid word drip down my fingers and become something real, raw

But the truth is I can’t even genuinely grasp the despair that lives inside of me

It creates a new kind of pain

I keep finding ways to seemingly diminish the reality of it all

To hinder the fact it is not alurring

To twist the ugliness into something admirable

And the truth is even in nature it can be so dazzling it will blind you

It’s the reason pain is deadly

It can show a magnificent blue hue with freckled orbs of black

Pain will bewitch you

Yet send a poisonous dart through the tips of your fingers

Pain will deceive you

It can come in a package so small it needn’t cower

Pain is unforseen

A dastardly foe this frog can kill just from a single touch

Pain is impetuous

I can keep creating metaphors

Keep using things that thrive in the rain forest as a way to characterize it

But even if it wrap it in a lovely little box it still has the intent to abuse

Pain is almost explainable yet it is so twisted and warped it deteriorates into something uniquely unknown

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